Reunion Invitation From Vladimir Putin
It's time for a Soviet Reunion!
I cannot believe it has been 26 years. The last time we had a Communist Party was 1991 in Moscow, where we have the best prostitutes. This year, to better accommodate men who attend events shirtless and on horseback, we will rendezvous on the beach at Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida.
In the spirit of democracy you may vote for the most convenient date: Choose between April 1 and the first Saturday of April 2017.
To RSVP phone Mar-a-Lago Catering at 561-822-5086. For efficiency simply state your first name, your Soviet Reunion date preference and the number of people in your party. Next you may mention special dietary needs, request a copy of Donald Trump's tax returns and express your political insights.
To the Party!
- V. Putin
Trump Tower Renovations... Russian Style!
Trump Tower is a 58-story skyscraper on Fifth Avenue in New York City.
When airplanes attacked the World Trade Center in September 2001, Trump's building became the tallest skyscraper in Manhattan. He boasted about this on TV within a few hours of the attack.
Today the building is home to the Trump family and the Trump Organization's potentially scandalous computer server. The FAA has imposed a no-fly zone around the building until Inauguration Day. Because of police security, New York taxpayers are reportedly paying $1,000,000 per day to help ensure the security of the Trump family.